Archive for category Funny

The Secret Fountain of Magical Metabolism

So today I want to talk to you about metabolism. This has come up several times now and today I just went over the edge. I am sick and tired of people who can’t control their weight saying to me “I wish I had metabolism like you”. If I have such a great metabolism, why do I have to spend several hours in the gym EVERY WEEK just to get myself BACK DOWN to a healthy weight. How did I end up needing to be in TWO biggest loser competitions at work within ONE YEAR just to get down to where I am today(and have enough fat on me to win both of them too). Why is it that I eat crappy cheese that DOESN’T MELT because it is better for me. Or why do I have to go WAY OUT OF MY WAY to buy healthy food if my metabolism is so freaking awesome. If my metabolism is so great, why do I need to do SO MANY THINGS in order to maintain a healthy weight. Its like a gosh darn full time job.

So, I want to take this time to re-phrase the comment. Next time say “I wish I had YOUR DETERMINATION because I just can’t seem to MOTIVATE MYSELF to get healthy the way YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO”

When I became a fat blob of a person I decided I was going to do something about it, and I did it. I am proud of my accomplishment and I hate that people try to discredit my accomplishments because they think I have found the secret fountain of magical metabolism.

A healthy lifestyle is hard work and it’s apparent you haven’t been working very hard.

F@CK!!!

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Jeepin

We went off roading in Paul’s new Jeep today. Chris brought his as well. It was definately an interesting day. Here is the review

Paul sees a mud puddle. Makes Chris go first.
Chris makes it through.
Paul makes it through.
They go back through it to the next puddle. (Paul makes Chris go first)
Chris makes it….Paul doesn’t
Paul’s car stalled and wont start
Chris burns clutch trying to get Paul out
Paul’s jeep starts up.
We dig him around Chris’s jeep
Paul pulls Chris’s jeep out and home
Paul realizes he had Traction Control on….

Ill bet you thats the last time he forgets that.

Anyways…. heres the pics

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Roller Disco

Yesterday our friend Laura had her 27th Birthday party and she did it up Roller Disco style. Jackie and I searched all week for vintage clothing. Jackie went straight up roller disco and I took the more general 70s style. We actually wore roller skates too. It was a lot of fun. Happy Birthday Laura. Welcome to the 27 club.

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